How these things ACTUALLY WORK, and not the “super magic herbalessence” way the labels claim they work, is by diluting your urine.(Remember, Spice is supposed to be some super magic herbalcombination that gets you messed up naturally, and it’s reallyoregano and flower petals someone sprayed with synthetic THC. Iswear, they must think weed smokers are the dumbest people in theuniverse.) Look at the instructions on any of these things, and itsays you’re supposed to drink the $40 bottle of goo and then drinklike four bottles full of water.
Some of them put other chemicals in the goo to try to fool a drugtest. Creatine is a big one. The way you test for dilution is bylooking at the creatinine level. Don’t bother looking on theinternet for normal creatinine levels because what’s listed is thecreatinine level for a kidney function test (if your kidneys don’twork right, your creatinine level is going to be wrong–either toohigh or too low) and not a drug test. They know the creatininelevel is going to be lower than normal because what’s everyone dowhen they know they’ve got a drug test? Start slamming water sothey can pee. But if they check for creatinine and there’s nonethere. they know you’ve been playing around. You could either getcalled back in for another test or just flunked outright.
Detox drinks work IF and ONLY IF the tester uses dip-stick drugtests because you have to run a second test for adulteration andmost people don’t do it. If your parents think you smoke dope andthey tell you “I’m going to give you a drug test tomorrow morning”then yeah, you might get lucky with a detox drink. (Memo toparents: if you decide to drug test your kid, don’t tell him you’regoing to test him tomorrow morning, get him out of bed at 5:45amsome morning and hand him a specimen cup, then watch him pee intoit. The first urine of the day has all the best drug metabolites init, so if he’s hot it’ll be really clear that he is.) But if you’retesting with laboratory equipment, detox drinks are dangerous toyou because a GC/MS machine can pick out the THC, the dilution andthe other ingredients in the “pass your drug test” sludge.
Keep in mind, it is illegal to use any detox or other chemical totry to beat a drug test. The lab can recognize when you have used adetox, and if they choose to, they can turn you in.