Apologies, I don’t have an easy answer, but I have a question to start with. First and foremost, how do you feel? Transgender kids are very much at risk, so please give yourself lots of slack. If you are considering hurting yourself in any way, reach out for help immediately… please. You are worth it, the world needs you to be here. We need every one of us here to make the world a better place. 🙂
So, first things first, make sure that you are in a safe situation. Next, find someone to talk to. You did not outline your relationship with your grandmother. One factor that makes a huge difference is having someone who cares, to talk with. You have been thrown into an adventure. Having a trusted companion makes a huge difference.
Okay, I’ll repeat that important message, be kind to yourself. Consider there are many ways that you could possibly feel about this, lets just consider a few.
Some people have strong feelings about being born in the wrong body. I have heard that some knew at a very young age, say 3 to 5, that on the inside the person is only female but has a male body. I think such people are blessed with a clarity that most of us do not have, or have to come to terms with.
Many others are confused and feel that they have a mixture of male and female. The thing is that science and medicine tell us that everyone has male and female in us, so that being a mix is actually quite normal. I’ve been told that this means I’m in touch with my feminine side.
There are organizations you can turn to for support.
Here are two websites to visit. The first is a story about a young girl named Jazz. The second has quite a bit more information
You are a worthwhile person, please take good care.